Isnin, 13 Jun 2011

Lucidity of Dreams

Late last night, I found a collection of videos of only the scenes of Jack McPhee in Dawson's Creek. As you know, or for you who are not quite aware of the character and the show, Jack McPhee was the first gay character in US television to kiss another gay character on the show. Also, Jack McPhee wasn't really the ideal gay guy you'd think in contemporary time. I mean come on, who wears loose outfits and tucks in collared shirts into his khakis. A bit odd, yeah?

I'm not really going to write about Jack McPhee here but of what effect I believe had on me last night after I watched his scenes from Season 5 to 6, up until the finale. I had a very lucid dream, which is not really uncommon lately. First, in the dream, I was still the main character, just that in another physique. In the dream I had the opportunity to look at the mirror to see who I might look like. I looked like a mix between Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo. And then the dream went around myself living a gay bachelor life, out and well-accepted which I think was the cause for "my" really good self-esteem and self-bearing. And then I came across knowing this other guy, who I think was still in the closet. Apparently, he was attracted to me, or yeah, he liked me. This guy looked like Kevin James, just that a bit buff and maybe without the big belly, but still on the bear type. And then I think we kind of hit it off when I knew that he was interested in me. I reciprocated his attraction, sensing his humility, sincerity and loyalty. Me, with the feeling that all that I was lacking in life was a partner, decided to settle down with him.

And then the last scene of the dream was me dressed in a plaid shirt and a good pair of jeans and chukkas, with a necktie worn as a bow tie at a gym locker room to fetch the partner. It was cute. And he was wearing the same kind of ensemble except that I was the one who tied the bow around his neck. Unfortunately my mom had to buzz in the room, and me being so sensitive to noise when I sleep, had to end the cute fairy tale I was having.

If only it were true.




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