Thank God, it's a Friday bacchanalian

Have you ever experienced seeing overly-drunk patrons leaving a bar or club on a wheelchair being pushed by a bouncer? Really embarrassing, right? I mean, it's really shameful. We even used to laugh at them. Now, have you experienced that kind of situation happening to you?

Well last night it happened, to my friend. It was one of my high school friends' birthday last Wednesday and ever since we turned 18, we've been always hitting the clubs to party and celebrate her occasion. It was just last night that things got out of control, that we ended our night of partying in the hospital. I'm serious about this. No, no one was seriously hurt, but some things got out of control, and the people themselves were hard to control as well.

I promise, after last night I told myself that I'd like to have kids rather than have VERY VERY DRUNK friends. My god.

'better' times: that's me, my friend who got hospitalized, and the hostess of the
birthday party who also got (annoyingly) drunk. some three friends followed after this photo was taken, so we were 6

We got into the club at around 11pm. As you know, the party only starts at around 12 midnight at clubs, or at least here in the Philippines. The original plan was only to chill and have some round of drinks and relax while having fun inside the club. We were lucky we even got to have a table that we paid for 10,000pesos ($250 approx).

So as the birthday girl, she ordered what she like, Absolut Kurrant. I think Vodka isn't really a very strong drink, unless you binge on it. And that's what we did. We got 2 bottles, with sprite to make Vodka7. We only finished one, and some 1/4 of the other.

At 2am, that's when my friend started puking, and drooling, passing out, and then a repeat of that. First, she just wanted to go to the washroom to re-groom herself, but then she already passed out in the washroom, and I was told that someone had to climb to get inside her cubicle to get her out from there. And as soon as that happened, the bouncers were called, and she was just so drunk for the club to let her in again.

I was already a bit crass and annoyed on why the f*ck
did they let this happen to themselves

whenever I'm feeling that I'm almost drunk, or tipsy, I just calm myself and
take a chill pill while lounging and smoking a fag

I, on the meantime was having the time of my life. I don't know but, there's always something going on with myself being lucky with guys whenever we celebrate this particular friend's birthday. Last year, I even get to make out with someone, and managed to exchange a few numbers good looking guys. This time, I got approached by this very cute and masculine guy. He was really freaking my style! He had a good sense of fashion, and had a good height for me to tiptoe to kiss him. And he's got a tight bod. Oh and his name was Aiden. I swear, my world just took a pause like I felt that the gods have finally decided to reward me of my good deeds. He invited me to dance, to that song above, which if you've heard the lyrics right, really fitted our situation and connection in there. The place was jammed and a bit overpacked that our bodies were on friction between ourselves. So he asked me, "do you slow dance?" And I said, "well.. I don't really dance but, I didn't even have a prom (long story).." Then and there he grabbed my hands and placed it in position around him. It was the sexiest thing I've felt for such a long time. Until when the song ended... just when I was about to exchange my number with him, one of the friends who was sober called me that we had to leave, as she relayed what happened while I was having pleasure. Of course I had to excuse myself from him, and to go somewhere I would hear the audible out of my phone. Then after the call, as I searched for him back in the crowd, this other friend grabbed me and she just killed the joy I was having. We went for the exit. And in this club, they have a special exit for people who aren't in the position to function normally. Yes, they have a drunk exit area.

my friend, who will later be in the ER, on the arms of a bouncer

now on a wheelchair, with the bouncer holding a box filled with her puke

It was really serious. It was 2am. And what the f*ck, the party just started! I'm not even a clubbing person, but whenever I get the chance to, I really make the most of it, especially now we're celebrating a friend's birthday. There were three of us who weren't drunk, and we felt we were just chaperoning the whole time (not much for me, though). The other three, there as you can see, one can't even stand by her own. The celebrant by the way was so drunk that it was my first time to see her being like that -- annoying and very hyper. Mind you, she works as a preschool teacher, but with the way she acted last night, it appeared like she was just her own student. And she kept on on standing up, and running towards the entrance of the club only to be chased by one of her sober friends. And she was screaming to have her let go. And she couldn't stay at one place. Soon other drunk people at the drunk exit/lounge showed up, and we almost got into a fight with the other drunk groups because she was uncontrollable. Her non stop blabber. It was such a bacchanalian I tell you. The other drunk one was tame, which was cool because we couldn't handle everything. I was attending to my friend who will get hospitalized.

Some two hours after, my friend was still vomiting, and the drunk celebrant already came back to her senses. Now, all of them realizing how weak our friend was, panicked and got paranoid when she suddenly was getting chills. For me, in my history of drinking, you get chills after drinking when you drank way too much that the alcohol level in your blood is very high. Anyway, they all got more alarmed when our friend was too pale. Then again, I think if you're having chills, that means your body temperature is below normal, which explains the paleness of skin color. But whatever, don't trust my judgment since I didn't train in the medical field.

So back to the story, as they realized the bad state our friend was in, they deemed the best thing to do to her is to rush her to the hospital. They all got in my car, and I drove to the nearest hospital. She even barfed inside my car, and it was a relief that she barfed on the floor not on the seats.

Well of course I don't have a picture to share here of what happened in the hospital but anyhow my annoyance still continued on.

At first my celebrant friend was hesitant to inform the parents herself of what happened. So as to our friend's boyfriend. But she did, after my constant insistence, telling her that whatever happened to our friend, will not be her fault, but her responsibility. She was acting cowardly, when of course in default we are all in her responsibility, since she was the one who invited us to celebrate with her. Do you get the point? As we were waiting for our friend's wards to come, we were scanning on the pictures from the camera that were taken that night, and the celebrant friend couldn't even remember some of the pictures that were taken and the scenario when they were taken.

Soon, the parents and the boyfriend arrived. Good thing was they were all calm, as our friend was now in a 'stable' condition. She was given the general IV after all, but there was no need of confinement (of course). The celebrant even asked the nurse if how's our friend, and he said that our friend looks like a typical drunk person.

Anyway, I'm just really thankful that nothing serious happened to our friend, and that we all didn't get this drunk. It's enough that only 3 from our group got drunk, but one of them needed to be rushed to the hospital.

But if you would ask me, on the whole experience, I was really disappointed and pissed, so much on the celebrant. Of course I just wasn't showing it earlier because it's just going to make the situation worse, and our rationality is low when under the influence of alcohol. The lesson is, no one will not always like to look after someone all the time, that's why we need to be very responsible of ourselves all the time, because not only are we accountable for ourselves, but on some occasions we are also accountable for others.

The other lesson is, it's not fun anymore when someone is not having fun. Drink moderately.

ps. on the guy who I danced with: I used my stalking powers on Facebook and found his profile. We have a common friend, so I think it's not hard to reconnect with this romantic and intimate guy (he slow danced with me, remember?!?!!)

I just have to say that sleeping on a bed of new sheets and being under a doona on a rainy morning is just one of the things that I live for.

and now I have developing dirty fantasies of the new clean white sheets. behave!

updates

I noticed that the last time I updated this blog was more than a week ago, which for me is bad because I don't want to neglect blogging anymore and even if my thoughts aren't diamonds, I think blogging is such an essential tool for your mind to function critically even if you're away from the workplace or from school.

So I've been busy applying for work the past week, submitting applications and portfolios to numerous offices and agencies in the metro. Also passed résumés to a couple of embassies, which are in line to what I've studied in college. The nature of the embassy jobs are really not much my very cup of tea (they were more of a public relations thing), but because I've never had any decent job experience yet, and because I believe I am qualified for the job, I took the risk to apply. Both haven't made any contact since I passed them my applications, which I believe would happen maybe some time next week because the deadline for sending applications is by Friday, but the other applications that I have passed other than the embassies, a few have responded and I'm already booked for job interviews this coming week.

But come to think of it again, I would really like to work inside an embassy. I've been told that embassies here do give a lot of benefits, and as being someone who has interned in one as well, my boss even reimburses the taxes I pay when I go shop at the grocer or even at food -- or just whatever receipt that clearly says I was taxed.

When I was still in Brunei, my friends who were kids of diplomats would never forget to invite me if they would have a diplomatic reception. My ex of course never forgot to invite me. And yes, he was some embassy's attache's kid. And I loved everything I experienced while being at one. So some three weeks ago, I was invited by my Latin American chief-of-mission's daughter friend to her country's national day's celebration in one of the swankiest hotels in the metro. So I went and invited this guy over, and acted as he was my date, even if he doesn't know what my thoughts were. LOL

alright so you know what country already
(but still I have to edit the photo to protect the identities of the 3)

And while I was there, rubbing elbows with Manila's elite and Manila's diplomatic bosses, I had this deep sense of belonging. While I was chugging myself with canapes like arepas, choripans, and Merlot, I was so in the zone having small talk and engaging in deep conversations with other diplomats. It was kind of like, I was seeing my future.

Of course I know the reality that my career does not limit to attending diplomatic parties. I know how it happens inside an embassy. To tell you the truth, in my internship in that one embassy, it took me only a month to get so stressed out to decide to leave their office and search for other internships around. I felt incompetent, especially that the embassy I was in was small, and I had direct contact to the ambassador and a couple of attaches. I think, other than the receptionist, I was the only one who does not have a graduate degree in the office that was in charge of major tasks. Also, I came in at the most stressful time, from my understanding. The tour of duty of the ambassador was about to end in one month, and of course he had to deal with a lot of responsibilities he had started before saying adios Philippines. But yes, I'm giving it another try. I'll join the national foreign service when I have the full-confidence and esteem to be part of it. I'm not rushing anyway. I'm still young, and I still have a life ahead of me.

Graduation

So last July 2, I finally graduated. If only I was hard-working enough to finish my thesis on time, then I might have graduated last year. And if only I also had the concentration and the focus too. And lastly, if only I wasn't clinically depressed, then I might have graduated on time.

And yeah... whatever. I graduated anyway. So, I'm officially unemployed.

the happy parents

and the happy friends

I didn't get to grab any special awards or special mentions. I was just a normal college student. I was quite active with my extra-curricular activities, but I guess the graduation committee didn't see them as noteworthy to mention during my address. But it's all alright, because what really matters to me is that I'm done with this chapter, and I'm all but ready for the next in life. Throw me whatever you want, life, and I'd gladly fetch them.

The feeling I got when I was on the stage to get my diploma, I felt like "wow, so this is how it feels when you're getting out of a rut." With each step forward, it felt as if I'm moving on.

College was not really sweet to me, especially on my latter years. But whatever happened, whatever it felt that I was losing battles each day, I felt like I was winning friends and their support. Cheers to you, my friends. I would not have ended this chapter without you rooting for me.

coffee for insomnia?

So here I am still wide awake and couldn't bring myself to sleep at 4 in the morning. Went out to smoke a quick drag and saw the sky getting brighter. Never knew that the sky would become some bright navy blue when the sun rises here at around 5.30. I mean we're in the tropics, at GMT+8 and I wonder. I know in some areas with higher latitudes the sun even barely sets down the horizon, but whatever. Civil twilight I guess?

So after pulling some two drags, I went to the kitchen and prepared myself coffee. I know it's a little insane to be drinking coffee when you're insomniac, but hey it's different for me, especially when I drink it at this hour. I do get giddy when I drink it at day time, especially ice blended types, and those frappes, but this trick never fails me. Back in college when I was struggling beating deadlines due to my procrastinated schedule, when 48 hours of being awake is not a strange occurrence to me, I would always drink hot coffee without cream to get me to slumber. It's just relaxing. Just like now and my mind's starting to shut down, and so are my eyes.......... Alright that does it, I'm out!

realizations, pt. 1

that's Hitler during his baby days (such a melter, no?)

So my dog never came back. It's been almost two weeks now. I had some moments of hopelessness, but then, life just has to go on. I keep on telling myself, it's just a dog, but the animal rights activist in me is saying that it's got rights too. Well I went to the barangay dog pound, and to the city pound to report about it. I even brought pictures of him and told the guys that he responds to 'Hitler', 'dito' (which is the Filipino word for "here") and the simple onomatopoeic "tsk, tsk, tsk". I also told them that he loves being rubbed, and when doing so it would have its legs apart. Yeah, he's a bit provocative, just like his owner. I'm kidding.

Sometimes I think that I might have taken the dog too much for granted that on realizing when was the last time I gave him a bath was like a month ago. And boy, it's summer here, so of course the dog would love to get soaked once in a while in a week. I also noticed that I don't toy him so much like before, and I regret not taking him to walks around the village. Maybe it's just time to go. And so he did.

Maybe it's time to get to more important things, like finding a job.

in (kosher) vino veritas

I just came from being a good Shabbat goy to my Jewish aunt's family. They were so warm, and I missed them. They've always been on the road and the last country they were in before flying in was Ecuador. I think I'm going to love this gig while they're staying here for three months.

not my own photo, but next time i'll
take photos when i'm not that busy
(source: alefnext.com)

I just feel so much like Jesus Christ after his Last Supper now. Took in way too much olive oil for one night. The tehina and the hummus were just so divinely prepared. And the kosher wine, really, really chosen with effort. I also watched some good Hebrew television soaps, and wow, the Jews can be really culturally sensitive! There was this one soap I got to watch titled "Ad Ha'Chatuna" or the Hebrew for "Until the Wedding", and it included gay characters.

Anyway, I'm going to nurse my drunkenness now. My heart's beating triple-time. I loved every part of this evening, and I wouldn't mind being a Shabbat goy again to them. It's alright if they keep on asking me favors on doing things that they can't because of Shabbat, but I get to be fed with awesome food, the honor of downing the bottle of the wine, and did I say food, food and foooood? Oh and they pay me too.

A dog named Hitler

Our dog has been missing for two days now. I've already lost hope last night that he would eventually come back.

I am hoping he's in a better place now. Of course I am worried he might be some poor man's dinner, or some drunkard's pulutan. Last night I even had trouble sleeping and I attempted to look for him even it was two in the morning. I went home just in time before light broke out. I slept with tears on my pillow, and the rainy weather nursed me to sleep.

He was the only street type kind of dog that I cried for. I will always miss his company when I would smoke, drink and take solitary walks in the depths of the night. And in turn I would accompany him chasing cats I found cute, especially when he's not wearing a leash.

I will miss him, even if his name was Hitler. My late night companion.

Secrets and Lies

my tattoo: it's in Inuit and it's only me who knows what it means

The other day, me and my friend went out and had a long day out that we forgot about the time. We parted ways at around 3 in the morning, and he forgot that he has a Cinderella-type of curfew at 12. For me, well my parents are too, but lately they've been giving me the freedom of staying out whenever I want just that I always keep them posted on what I'm doing or where I'm at (except of course if I'm in someone else's bed engaging in 'strenuous' activities).

So when I got home I texted my friend if he already reached homebase and what silly explanation did he tell his mom. He said he had to drop me to my house all the way in the southern part of the metropolis, that's why it took him time to go home since he lives in the opposite part (the "North"). We actually met in Makati, which is the central business district and is also at the center. I realized that it's actually very easy for gay people to find excuses or lies to people since most of them, rather us, have lived in the closet first especially if you haven't outed yourself to some. What really happened was, I was driving a car and no, no one sent me off or tailed me going home. 

The connection to the picture is like my sexuality, my parents don't know yet of me having a tattoo. I know they should know, and of course I will let them know, but if you have very religious, and very conservative parents, would you do so if you don't want to risk eviction? Besides, my parents just got back again and honestly, we've been having communication issues since they came back, which adds to the pressure of denying them the truth for now. 

By the way, if you're curious the tattoo's been with me since January of last year, the 9th, during my parent's 22nd wedding anniversary and that time they were still in Brunei and they don't know what I've been doing while they were away. Let's just say my parents haven't seen me completely topless for like two years now, since the last time was when we had a beach outing together.